I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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