I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
