flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
