Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
