I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
one might say we're banned from that church
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
