is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
