So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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