Screwed.edu
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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