What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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