I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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