i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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