did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
