I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
