I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
