I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
