I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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