i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
