i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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