after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize