Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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