420 ftw
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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