Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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