It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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