good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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