I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Non-Jews are for practice
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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