this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
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I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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