ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
