I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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