Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
