They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Found the puke drawer
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
These tits shall not be calmed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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