do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
