Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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