sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
