Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
