Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
