I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
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WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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