how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
