I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
