Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's just like the Real World with babies
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
