I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
