He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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