Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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