i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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