drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
