How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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