I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
