Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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