This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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