Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
