...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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