i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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