U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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