so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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